Calumny /2

The act of calumniating is different than gossiping, although closer in meaning. To gossip means to provoke intrigue/ to hatch plots. To calumniate is to speak ill of someone, making false accusations or to blame someone for a crime, therefore there is more violence in the act of calumniating. Physical aggression is clearly identified as the avoidance of conviviality among people. There is a consensus towards the need in refrain and restrain aggressors.

Our culture is about to identify in calumny an aggression that can and must be refrained and restrained. But we are not there yet.
We still try to deny or to hide this fact, when we are the victims.  We feel embarrassed of being calumniated when the one who calumniates should feel ashamed.  Sometimes we submit ourselves to the calumniator of the group we live with.  
Sayings like “Where there is smoke, there is fire” are “weapons” used by calumniators.  The correct form is “Where there is smoke there is a calumniator”.  To the wise, the one who is being exposed is not the person that has been calumniated, but the calumniator: He shows and reveals a conflicted inner nature.
The calumniator is a person who suffers internally. People who are enjoying life don’t even want to calumniate; they want to make the most of life’s wonders. 
Now and then people deal wrongly with their disturbances. Example: They start drinking alcoholic beverages or dive into an imaginary world, and keep away from real life.
Another improper way of reacting is calumny. The calumniator tries to transfer his unbalance to another person. By launching a calumny he notices that others start getting disturbed. To achieve his target he needs to launch a bomb effect calumny.
So, now the others are the unbalanced ones, not him anymore or, at least there is somebody else disturbed and suffering like him. 
As it’s (being) pure fantasy, this doesn’t bring him lasting relief, because like a vice, it needs to be repeated over and over again. It’s a false escape for his lack of equilibrium. It’s as if someone dumped his trash in the neighbor’s yard. For few minutes he has the feeling of being clean, but soon the trash is back in his house, as it’s where it’s been produced. 
There are two kinds of calumniators: The one who systematically calumniates and the one who does it in moments of distress.  
There are also people who forward the calumny made by others. It’s a phenomenon that has always been part of the humanity. 
Pluto, a roman playwright, wrote in one of his plays: “He who spreads abroad the calumny and he who listens to it should be hanged – the first by his tongue and the other by his ears”.
Anyway, we must learn how to deal with this phenomenon as we all yield to it. Shakespeare wrote “Even being as pure as the snow you won’t escape from a calumny”. 
The recovery for people suffering calumny happens when they don’t submit themselves to the phenomenon and rather face it.
They should preserve their self- esteem, keeping away from this verbal and psychological aggression of which they have been a victim. They can seek professional help in a brief interpersonal psychotherapy.
The one who notices being the reason for a calumny will also benefit from professional help to try dealing better with his lack of equilibrium.